Whether it’s your long-time partner or someone you recently met at a bar, there are certain things you should never say during sex. While we’ve previously discussed what you should say during intimate moments, this time, we’re focusing on what you should avoid. Saying the wrong thing during sex can not only kill the mood but also damage your partner’s confidence and self-esteem. To keep the experience pleasurable and respectful, here are five things you should never say during sex:
5 Things You Should Never Say During Sex
1. “Your penis is small.”
This is probably the most offensive thing you can say to a man during sex. A man’s concern about his size is a deeply rooted insecurity for many. Telling him that his penis is small, or even hinting at it, can severely damage his confidence. Most men already feel pressure to perform well in bed, and such a remark can leave them feeling humiliated and inadequate. If you have concerns or preferences, address them respectfully outside the bedroom rather than during such an intimate moment.
2. “Can we hurry up and finish?”
Sex is meant to be a pleasurable and intimate connection, not a race. If you’re in a hurry because you have to be somewhere or take an important call, it’s better to postpone sex altogether. Telling your partner to “hurry up” during the act can make them feel pressured and unappreciated, which could lead to performance issues like premature ejaculation or loss of interest. If you’re short on time, it’s better to have an honest conversation beforehand rather than making your partner feel rushed and inadequate.
3. “Hold on, I need to take this call.”
Interrupting sex to answer a phone call is one of the most frustrating things you can do to your partner. It sends the message that the call is more important than the intimate moment you’re sharing. Sex is meant to be a time of connection and focus on each other. Taking a call in the middle of it suggests that you’re not fully present, which can instantly kill the mood and leave your partner feeling neglected and unimportant.
4. “You’re not doing it right.
“Sex is a learning experience for both partners, but criticizing your partner’s technique in the middle of the act can be a huge confidence killer. Instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong in a negative way, try guiding them gently by showing what feels good. Saying “you’re not doing it right” can make your partner feel incompetent and discouraged. Open communication about sexual preferences is important — just make sure to have those conversations before or after sex, not during it.
5. “My ex used to like this.”
Bringing up your ex during sex is a surefire way to ruin the mood. Nobody wants to hear about a former partner in the middle of an intimate moment. Mentioning what your ex used to like or comparing your current partner to them can make your partner feel insecure and inadequate. Focus on the present and what you enjoy with your current partner rather than drawing comparisons to the past. Keeping the conversation focused on each other’s pleasure will help build intimacy and trust.
